Recovery from an eating disorder is a brave, life-changing journey—but it’s not as linear or straightforward as some might imagine. The road to recovery is filled with unexpected challenges, emotions, and milestones. While many resources focus on the “how” of recovery, fewer dive into the nuanced truths that come with healing. In this blog post, we’ll explore the things people often don’t tell you about eating disorder recovery, peeling back the curtain on what to expect so you can approach this process with more compassion and understanding.
- Recovery does not happen overnight, and that is perfectly ok.
What people expect: You start therapy, follow a meal plan, and within a few months, you’re “better”.
Reality: Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
Recovery often takes years, not months. It involves ups and downs, plateaus, and relapses. You may feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back at times, but that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Recovery is about persistence and progress, not perfection. Oftentimes the “downs” are the times my clients learn the most about themselves and what they need. Real change takes time because it’s not just about changing your behaviors—it’s about unlearning harmful patterns, rewriting your relationship with food and your body, and healing the underlying emotional wounds that contributed to the eating disorder in the first place.
- “Normal” Eating Will Feel Anything but Normal at First
What People Expect: You’ll quickly embrace intuitive eating and feel at peace with food.
The Reality: Eating “normally” feels overwhelming and unnatural at first.
In recovery, reintroducing foods you’ve avoided can feel terrifying. Giving up food rules and breaking up with the eating disorder is scary. Eating without counting calories or measuring portions may trigger intense anxiety. Feelings of guilt and shame may come up after eating and that is hard. Many people also struggle with the idea of eating until full, worrying they’ll lose control. This discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re learning to trust your body again.These feelings are part of the process. Over time, eating will become less stressful, and food will lose its emotional charge. This journey teaches you to see food as nourishment and joy, not a source of control or fear.
- Weight Fluctuations Can Be Triggering
What People Expect: Your weight will stabilize as you recover.
The Reality: Your weight may fluctuate, and it might not settle where you expect.
During recovery, your body is adjusting to new patterns of eating, resting, and living. This can lead to changes in weight, which may feel distressing if you’ve tied your self-worth to the number on the scale. Learning to detach your value from your weight is one of the hardest—but most liberating—parts of recovery. Recovery isn’t about achieving a “goal weight”; it’s about reclaiming your health and happiness. Accepting your body’s natural set point can free you from the exhausting cycle of dieting and self-criticism.
- You Might Grieve the Eating Disorder
What People Expect: Recovery will feel like freedom.
The Reality: Letting go of the eating disorder can feel like losing a part of yourself.
For many, an eating disorder becomes a coping mechanism, a sense of identity, or even a “friend” in times of stress. Saying goodbye to it can leave you feeling lost or grieving, even as you work toward health. This is a normal part of recovery that often goes unspoken.Grief is part of healing. Acknowledging these feelings doesn’t mean you want to go back—it means you’re human. With time, you’ll replace the eating disorder with healthier coping mechanisms and a fuller sense of self.
- Recovery Is About More Than Food
What People Expect: Once you fix your eating habits, you’re recovered.
The Reality: Food is just the tip of the iceberg.
Eating disorders often stem from deeper issues like trauma, perfectionism, or low self-worth. Recovery involves exploring these root causes in therapy, learning to regulate your emotions, and building a more compassionate relationship with yourself. This emotional work is where real, lasting change happens. Focusing only on food or weight can keep you stuck in the surface-level aspects of recovery. True healing requires addressing the emotional and psychological factors underlying the disorder.
- Relationships with Family and Friends Might Change
What People Expect: Your loved ones will cheer you on throughout recovery.
The Reality: Recovery can strain relationships before it strengthens them.
Eating disorders don’t exist in a vacuum—they often affect and are affected by your relationships. As you set boundaries, confront old dynamics, or share your struggles, some relationships may feel uncomfortable or even distant at first. However, these changes are often necessary for your growth and healing. Surrounding yourself with people who support your recovery is crucial. It’s okay to let go of relationships that don’t align with your healing journey or to seek family therapy to rebuild trust and understanding.
- Relapses Are Part of the Process, Not the End
What People Expect: Recovery is a straight line.
The Reality: Recovery includes setbacks, and that’s normal.
Relapses can feel like failures, but they’re actually opportunities to learn more about your triggers and coping mechanisms. What matters most is how you respond to a relapse—reaching out for support and recommitting to recovery, rather than giving up. Recovery isn’t about never struggling again—it’s about building resilience and learning to bounce back. Over time, relapses will become less frequent and less intense.
- You’ll Discover Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had
What People Expect: Recovery is all about hard work and sacrifice.
The Reality: Recovery is also a journey of self-discovery.
Through recovery, you’ll uncover incredible strengths—resilience, compassion, courage—that you may not have recognized before. You’ll also develop a deeper understanding of yourself and what truly matters to you. Recovery isn’t just about letting go of the eating disorder—it’s about building a life that feels meaningful, joyful, and free. You will be getting back to your true values and that is such a beautiful process.
- You Deserve Help, No Matter Where You Are in Your Journey
What People Expect: You have to be “sick enough” to get help.
The Reality: There’s no threshold for deserving support.
Whether you’re struggling with occasional disordered eating habits or a full-blown eating disorder, you deserve help. Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re ready to take back control of your life. Early intervention can prevent disordered eating from escalating and help you heal more quickly. There’s no shame in asking for support, no matter where you are on your journey.
Eating disorder recovery is messy, complex, and deeply personal. It’s not about achieving perfection or fitting into a prescribed timeline—it’s about rediscovering your worth, learning to trust your body, and building a life free from the constraints of disordered eating. If you’re on this journey, remember: you’re not alone. Recovery is possible, and every step you take—no matter how small—brings you closer to freedom. Reach out for help, celebrate your progress, and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be. Let’s normalize talking about the untold truths of recovery, so no one feels they have to walk this path alone. If you’re ready to take the next step in your recovery journey, I’m here to help. Reach out today for a consultation, and let’s work together to help you heal and reclaim your life.